


nuts and bolts

by The_Hidden_Boots (Captain_Tomate)



Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club, Game Grumps
Genre: M/M, Robo!Barry, This takes place in Asamagica, character death isn't very graphic but it has some detail, so spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-11-16 10:50:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11251590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Tomate/pseuds/The_Hidden_Boots
Summary: Barry reflects on what got him to this point. Especially the feeling of being human, and how he misses it. But who would ever believe a robot was capable of that?





	nuts and bolts

Barry missed a lot of things about being human.

Yeah, he was  _basically_ a human in a metal shell. He still had his soul or whatever, infused into lines of coding. He wasn't as artificial as other robots- had been given the ability to feel, he could experience complex emotions, hell, he even got sick! Not in the typical way, and the virus in him demolished each bug quickly, but it was something.

Despite all of that and more, he still missed how things had been. Being able to actually taste the foods he liked, actually getting sleepy instead of running low on battery, going through a bunch of emotions rapidly without crashing. A heartbeat instead of whirring systems.

It was all so jarring, even now after months of this. Hearing his inner systems, thinking in complicated lines of code, being able to reach- to comprehend far beyond what he could before. He had power at his fingertips and he understood why people feared the possibility of some kind of robot uprising...

He wasn't bound to human limits anymore.

Old habits die hard, though. He still tried to cling to his humanity because the robot world scared him. Took full advantage of his capabilities. Of being able to eat, even without the flavor, and breathe, even if the air could be too wet and rust his systems, and feel, even through the dullness; despite there being no need to or even big reason to do any of those.

He even went into sleep mode every night, making sure to plug himself in beforehand so he actually felt like he had rested, and - surprisingly enough - sometimes he managed to dream.

That was a blessing and a curse. Most of the times it was just his mind deciding to play back some happy memory to him, in so much detail it was like living it again, and it was so _nice,_ despite skewing everything for a bit. But then, ther were nights that were riddled with nightmares.

They came a bit differently. Snapshots that he remembered just as clearly, wherever there weren’t fuzzy spots or blank holes. It just added to how unsettling it was. Remembering how he had been alone, how he felt something grab him, waking up in some room, the pain...

Worst part was, he couldn't exit sleep mode. He couldn't just shoot up from bed, wide awake, anymore. Something kept him stuck in there for a while, maybe some kind of bug in his code he couldn’t find nor fix, and it made nightmares even more of a hell.

Searching for a way out was torture. Having to relive and replay those memories for hours made him sick. Having to experience it all over again until he was reduced to nothing but a virus to be trapped in an old computer, some newly created instinct gnawing at him and needing to  _destroydestroydestroydestroydestroy-_

It was too much to handle. He managed to snap out of sleep mode as everything faded away, feeling like he was suffocating despite not needing air.

After that, he had a hard time not shutting down and rebooting. It was a battle he usually lost; he was just too wound up, too scared and stressed, for his body to handle. He couldn't process it and was thrown into empty blackness until he eventually powered up again.

Something changed, though. His friends took notice, especially Danny. He seemed to _always_ know when something was bothering Barry... And Barry started waking up from shut downs being held by someone and sweet reassurances being mumbled into his hair.

He managed a sigh, and curled into the touch every time.


End file.
